Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I've Been In A Very Dark Place

Dark. Sad. Alone. Confused. If you haven't experienced it yet, live long enough. You will. I don't care to share the reasons for my despondence. It's more than one thing. It always is. Sometimes life kicks you in the gut and you simply have to figure out how to heal your busted ribs and bruised belly. My healing has begun. It started with several hours of the "ugly cry" as Oprah calls it. God gave us tears for a reason. They cleanse. Release stress. Free us from emotional turmoil kept shoved down for too long. Unfortunately, the next day my eyelids were swollen and red. If one more person asked, "Are you ok?" "You look terrible." I was going to slit my wrist. Then I would look dead. Why do people say such absurd things? Do they think it actually helps to tell me I look like I was hit by a truck? I looked in the mirror. I already know, thanks anyway. 

It's a season....Nothing in life stays the same very long. It is a constant state of change. If you are happy, enjoy it. If you are sad, get through it. It won't last forever. Eventually, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I do see a ray of sunlight now. I just have to keep moving toward it. 

I'm blessed to have a few close friends who have been my voice of reason and helped keep me sane. Where would we be without them? You know, the ones who you will always be friends with, because they know far too much about you. They understand your dark side, your sunny side and love you in spite of yourself. 

Eight verses pretty much sum up life. No truer words have been written. They remind me that valleys and mountains, highs and lows are part of the rhythm of life. 

To everything there is a season.
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
A time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silent,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time for war,
And a time for peace.
Ecc. 3:1-8

My time of weeping is over. I'm ready to laugh.
My time of mourning is over. I'm ready to dance.